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I have a question for you. Today is Monday 26th November 2007 – right?? Why then have I just received my Golf Monthly….. dated January 2008? I mean - what is the point? I certainly, can’t think of anyone who would want to wish their life away, so could someone please explain the logic behind this ridiculous conundrum?

Lets paint a picture. You enter a doctor’s surgery on the 3rd January looking for a cure to your New Years Eve hangover. Whilst in the waiting room you see the Golf Monthly and guess what, it’s bang up to date – fantastic! You start to feel better already. Except its not ‘bang up to date’ and soon you realize that the ‘latest tournament news from around the world’ all relates to competitions that were played in October 2007. Which, in effect, makes it 3 months out of date!! Lets face it, as soon as this magazine is printed it is yesterday’s news.

As part of the ‘self-appreciation society’, the Golf Monthly News Editor states in his article that he works for ‘the best magazine out there’!! and further says that ‘I think we can all agree on that at least’. Really?? Well I don’t agree. I feel the best way to describe this magazine is that it’s ‘frustrating’!!

20 pages of ‘Instruction’, if that’s what floats you boat, followed by a further 20 pages of ‘Equipment’, which is generally prohibitive for most of us, in my mind only adds to this frustration.

Golf Monthly does do some good stuff. I particularly like their efforts with the Golf Monthly/HSBC Top 120 UK Course Rankings. And, in general, their course reviews are very good. But, there should be more of these and more effort should be put into making the magazine more exciting! As it is, I think it is dated and boring.

Perhaps it is time for Golf Monthly to change its name – how about, ‘Golf in two months time monthly that generally talks about stuff that happened a month ago’? I like it!

Last Saturday, I was looking forward to my second round of golf in a few days and was invited by a friend to play at Letchworth. 2 members with 2 trolleys and 2 guests with 2 carry bags assembled on the 1st tee in a queue. When it was our turn to tee off, we patiently waited for the 1st fairway to clear when a 3-ball virtually ran up the 18th hole in a vain attempt to tee off before us. We stood our ground as was our right in this particular instance with staggered tee times.

However, one of the 3-ball walked up to us as we were about to tee–off and informed us, rather vociferously, that trolleys were not allowed on the tee box and that ‘you should know better’!! Fact: the trolleys weren’t on the tee box and the condescending arrogance of the man dumbfounded us all!! I have to say that after my first 2 shots travelled a total distance of 20 yards I was tempted to go back to the tee and use his head for the rest of the round. We later found out that this ‘gentleman’ was on the finance committee – which I guess puts him one below God!

Let’s get this straight; the attitude of this individual was disrespectful to the members and downright embarrassing for their guests. We are all good golfers who understand the rules and respect the game of golf. Letchworth is an ‘OK’ course. It has OK holes, OK fairways and OK greens. And paying £20 green fees as a guest on the weekend is OK! But, it certainly isn’t a course where one should feel privileged to be walking its hallowed turf! So why do certain committee members think otherwise?

Perhaps it is because this particular ‘jobs worth‘ had waited 10 years for his membership that he felt it his god given right to be an asshole! Or, perhaps he is naturally, just an asshole! Whatever the reason he represented a snob value that is unnecessary and out dated - and his behaviour left a sour taste in the mouth.

Letchworth GC web site states - ‘The Club welcomes all who visit this web site be they members, visitors or societies‘. It’s a pity that this welcome is not extended to visitors when they actually turn up to play the course. It only takes one person with the wrong attitude to make one feel distinctly ‘unwelcome’.

A final point; it is well documented that visiting golfers are made to feel very welcome at golf courses throughout Wales, Scotland and Ireland - it is now time for their England counterparts to follow suit!

I have played Lamerwood a few times before and after a month off golf it was great to be back on a course that held some familiarity. Lamerwood is what I would describe as a decent, middle of the road, parkland strip. It is not a ‘must play course’ by any stretch of the imagination, but if you are in the area it is certainly worth giving it a go - a very pleasant 18 holes.

It is however, unfortunate, that being in the ‘London catchment area’, Lamerwood believes differently and the green fees are a bit steep. Unless you go for one of the ‘deals’, you might not choose to play the course again, especially if you are limited to weekend golf which will set you back £50 (£45 in the winter)….. and I believe this is rising next year! However, if you go for a ‘weekend winter twilight’ round (after 12.00pm) than it is only £18 (£15/weekday) and then it is definitely worth the green fee. They also offer a ‘Loyalty Card’, where if you play 6 games, you will get the 7th round free which is a nice touch.

The only other real disappointment is the club house. Whilst it looks impressive from the outside, the bar is extremely poor and the cost of a pint prohibitive. Take my advice and drive to one of the many country pubs nearby for better service and better value. I believe the Japanese restaurant is quite good but can’t comment as have never eaten there.

In addition to this, my golf was poor…. but that’s another story and certainly no fault of the course!

4 days after the culmination of the greatest sporting event in the world, I am just about recovering, though have vowed to become tee total, at least until the weekend. I am, of course, referring to the Rugby World Cup! You see, my two sporting passions are rugby & golf and for the past month, one of them had to give – needless to say, in this instance, the round ball lost out.

What an event!! There were some massive highs – I was fortunate enough to be in Marseille when England beat the Aussies which rates as my No. 2 high. My No. 3 high was when England beat France a week later in Paris. What was my No. 1 high?? I will tell you; it was watching France beat the All Blacks on a TV in a French street in the middle of a tiny fishing village just outside Marseille. This was followed by a street party of repute with, amongst others, English, French, Welsh, South African, Australian, American & Canadian fans. World in Union – you betcha!! My only regret was that I wasn’t in Cardiff to see the reaction of the New Zealand fans.

Having been on the Lions Tour to New Zealand in 2005, and having witnessed first hand how ungracious their fans and press (if you can call them that) were in victory, I always wanted to know how they would react in defeat. Their reaction to this defeat had to be the No. 1 low of the whole tournament - one word….. Pathetic!! To put this in context, the behavior of the Aussies after losing to England was exemplary and we all drank together afterwards. Further, I was at the final last weekend and again the behaviour of both fans after the game was one of camaraderie, fun & festiveness. And guess what…. I am a staunch English fan and South Africa deserved to win that game, they deserve to be World Champions.

I shall be going to South Africa in 2 years time to follow the Lions – it promises to be a fantastic tour with the best of the British & Irish playing the World Champions. Will I be going to New Zealand in 4 years time – no way! I shall certainly be watching it on TV supporting Rugby first and England second, but I shall spend by hard earned pennies playing golf. Which reminds me, address, head down, swing……

I bought a new putter the other day, a MacGregor Bobby Grace M6.4K no less!! The headline on the golf shop web site shouted ‘SAVE A MASSIVE 75% OFF THE MRRP!!!’ A £199 pound putter for only £49.99 - what a bargain, I just had to get one.

Over the past 5 years I have bought all my golfing equipment off the Internet, new clubs, drivers, rescues, balls, gloves, clothes, bags… the list goes on. And I have always been satisfied with my purchases. However, I have never bought a putter off the Internet mainly because I have (mostly) been satisfied with my short game. So what possessed me? The thought of a single figure handicap? The knowledge that it was all in the mind? Who knows… What I do know is that it was a big mistake!

What was an even bigger mistake was that I took it on holiday with me, having never used it before, and, even worse, left my trusty old Nike behind!! Four rounds later, I was a wreck! My bargain ‘Bobby Grace’ was too short, not heavy enough, ghastly looking, weird grip - there was simply no feel! It was like putting with a dead snake!

Just when I was thinking all was wrong with the world, I remembered that I had forgotten my sisters birthday a month ago. An idea was forming - quick spit and polish, recover the packaging and send it off to her with a great big birthday card apologising for the lateness - the perfect gift! And for a little shy of 200 quid, my generosity knows no bounds.

So there I was, wondering what to write about in relation to The Open - with so many possible subject matters, it was becoming a bit of a muddle. And, then right at the end, after a fantastic 4 days, a comment was made that sent me into a spin… I simply went bananas!!

Right from the start I had been looking to make a comment about the BBC and specifically their decision to make Gary Linekar the front man for their golf coverage. I know he has been doing it for a few years now, but trust me; he has been irritating me for a few years too!! The problem is that I like the guy and so have always found it difficult to criticise him… Until now!

If his embarrassingly cringing interview in Spanish with Andres Romero (whilst there was some pretty damn important golf going on at the time!!) was not enough to make you want to ‘throw up’, then surely, his ‘chat’ with (the fantastic) Mark James whilst waiting for the play off to start was enough to make one want to top themselves!! During this pathetic interlude, he made the comment that ‘It’s a bit like a penalty shoot-out’!!

WHAT?!?!…… NO, GARY NO….. it is NOTHING like a penalty shoot out for f**ks sake!! A ‘penalty shoot out’ is what tends to happen when 2 teams filled with spoiled, overpaid brats have nothing better to do after 120 minutes of utter boredom. Call me a clairvoyant but I’m guessing this is what Mr Linekar was referring to considering his sporting background. Whereas, a ‘play-off’ is what tends to happen when a stalemate has been reached after 4 days and 72 holes of highly skilled competition - as in what happened during the drama that was Carnoustie!!

Honestly, the BBC does use some of our licence fee to produce some complete and utter tosh. But having Gary Linekar front The Open (and The Masters), the rights to which they have paid a fortune, is a massive travesty. With the likes of the aforementioned Mark James, Ken Brown, Sam Torrance and, of course, Peter Alliss, they have a great team. Gary Linekar is not, and never will be, a part of that. Please, no more…please!!

I was fortunate enough to be invited to play at Brocket Hall recently. Shot 19 stableford points (off 14). Pretty damn rubbish really but even worse when you consider that 12 of those points came off 4 holes (2 birdies & 2 pars). But enough about my poor golf lets talk about Brocket Hall itself.

Brocket Hall has two courses, The Melbourne & The Palmerston. I played The Melbourne which is described on their web site as “One of the most beautiful golf courses in England”. Sure, it’s a great course though I’m not sure it would enter my top 50. But that’s not the point! I have a problem with a club that makes such a statement when it is nigh on impossible to play there. OK, you could become a member at vast expense but in order to justify that membership you would have to play every night and every day for the whole year. Or, if you know 11 other like minded people you could play one of the courses for £195 per person including the obligatory Bacon Roll on arrival and a 3 Course Buffet Lunch/Dinner with a Course Planner thrown in! But, this “special package” is only available on a Wednesday!! Or, you could befriend a member who can sign you in for a mere £45 green fee. This is what I paid and it might or might not be good value depending on the circumstances.

I shall explain. It appears to me that Brocket Hall survives on their Corporate Membership and we were unlucky enough to be stuck behind one such “Corporate Group” today. What should have been a quick, enjoyable 3-ball around “One of the most beautiful golf courses in England” turned into a 5 hour slog. OK, if you’ve played golf on The Algarve or the Costa-del-Sol, this might seem relatively quick but what really upset me was the total disrespect this group had for the course: large divots in the fairways left unattended; pitch marks not repaired; bunkers unraked; American style hollering on your backswing; sadly the list goes on. You get the impression that these people just come along for the free booze and free food with the golf just being a sideshow. And let’s face it; anything is better than working for a living!!

So, did £45 represent good value? Frankly no! What really makes my blood boil is that as a half decent golfer who makes an effort to understand the rules and enjoys the etiquette of the game, I cannot get to play a round of golf at Brocket Hall with 3 mates. Whereas, if you’re part of the Corporate machine, they will let any idiot on the course!