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I was fortunate enough to be invited to play at Brocket Hall recently. Shot 19 stableford points (off 14). Pretty damn rubbish really but even worse when you consider that 12 of those points came off 4 holes (2 birdies & 2 pars). But enough about my poor golf lets talk about Brocket Hall itself.

Brocket Hall has two courses, The Melbourne & The Palmerston. I played The Melbourne which is described on their web site as “One of the most beautiful golf courses in England”. Sure, it’s a great course though I’m not sure it would enter my top 50. But that’s not the point! I have a problem with a club that makes such a statement when it is nigh on impossible to play there. OK, you could become a member at vast expense but in order to justify that membership you would have to play every night and every day for the whole year. Or, if you know 11 other like minded people you could play one of the courses for £195 per person including the obligatory Bacon Roll on arrival and a 3 Course Buffet Lunch/Dinner with a Course Planner thrown in! But, this “special package” is only available on a Wednesday!! Or, you could befriend a member who can sign you in for a mere £45 green fee. This is what I paid and it might or might not be good value depending on the circumstances.

I shall explain. It appears to me that Brocket Hall survives on their Corporate Membership and we were unlucky enough to be stuck behind one such “Corporate Group” today. What should have been a quick, enjoyable 3-ball around “One of the most beautiful golf courses in England” turned into a 5 hour slog. OK, if you’ve played golf on The Algarve or the Costa-del-Sol, this might seem relatively quick but what really upset me was the total disrespect this group had for the course: large divots in the fairways left unattended; pitch marks not repaired; bunkers unraked; American style hollering on your backswing; sadly the list goes on. You get the impression that these people just come along for the free booze and free food with the golf just being a sideshow. And let’s face it; anything is better than working for a living!!

So, did £45 represent good value? Frankly no! What really makes my blood boil is that as a half decent golfer who makes an effort to understand the rules and enjoys the etiquette of the game, I cannot get to play a round of golf at Brocket Hall with 3 mates. Whereas, if you’re part of the Corporate machine, they will let any idiot on the course!